To feed hate or to feed love? – Welcome to the Stockholm Conference on parental alienation August 24-25

Lena Hellblom Sjögren, PhD, licensed psychologist 2018-07-09

Is it possible to create a general understanding of parental alienation and why it is harming children and families?

  1. According to research by Ronald Rohner et al, research that cannot be questioned, the child has a fundamental need of love and acceptance from both parents, or those who are like parents for the child during the child´s upbringing. This need, if not fulfilled, harms the child´s health and development.
  2. The child has human rights to family life and to keep his/her identity. These rights, if not fulfilled, harms the child´s health and development.
  3. To separate the child physically and/or mentally from one of the parents who is good enough, to influence the child with one´s own implacable hostility towards that parent, so that the child also starts rejecting that parent and expresses it as the child´s own will: I do not want to have any contact with that parent – is harmful to the child. It is called PARENTAL ALIENATION – shortened PA.
  • PA creates confusion and fear in the child: who am I if am not allowed to love or get love from my mother/father – do I have to reject half of me?
  • The HATE-wolf is fed – instead of the LOVE-wolf, see story below.
  • The child´s rewritten family history after having been mentally kidnapped and totally identified with the parent who has taken the child as hostage (compare the Stockholm syndrome) makes the child reject not only one of the parents but also everything connected with that parent.
  • The lack of ambivalence is probably the most significant sign for a   child´s unjustified rejection of a parent. This differentiates Parental Alienation from Estrangement. Estrangement  is the child´s justified rejection of a parent who has done very bad things to the child. In those cases the child still has an ambivalence, meaning the child still has a longing for that parent.
  1. CONCLUSION: Parental alienation violates the fulfillment of the child´s most fundamental needs and the child´s human rights. Therefore Parental Alienation is to be recognized as CHILD ABUSE.
  2. The recognition of PA as harmful child abuse has consequences for the law makers and for the investigation and treatment of disputed family right cases as well as the development of preventive measures needed to be taken.






An old man sat with his grandchild in his lap. He said to the child:

– Within us all two wolfs live who fight. One is called love and courage, the other one hate and fear.

Who wins? Asks the grandchild.

His grandfather answers:

The one we feed.

This is an invitation to a conference and further education in August 24–25 in an island in Stockholm centre called Skeppsholmen. It is about the harm done to children in high conflict custody disputes  when they are turned against one of their parents – without any justification for that.

Responsible for the arrangement is the Swedish organization called PASG Nordic, a branch of Parental Alienation Study Group (PASG). PASG is a non profit organization with 450 members from 42 countries. The conference language is English.

To register for participation look for, and then register through Reachem. The price, including all lectures, lunches and snacks two days, is 4 500 SEK = 436 Euros = 518 USD. Don ́t forget to consider the suggested social activities. See program on Welcome!  



8.30-17 Östasiatiska Muséets hörsal, Skeppsholmen.

William Bernet, M.D.,a forensic child psychiatrist, professor emeritus at Vanderbilt University School of Medicine, the president of the Parental Alienation Study Group (PASG), the editor of Parental Alienation, DSM-5 and ICD-11: The scientific foundation for parental alienation

Amy Baker, Ph.D. a research psychologist in New York, author of several empirical studies on parental alienation, author of Adult Children of Parental Alienation: What research says about parental alienation strategies and the harm done to children and families

Ronald Rohner,Ph.D. Professor Emeritus, University of Connecticut (received the American Psychological Association Award for Distinguished Contri-butions to the International Advancement of Psychology. He also received the Outstanding International Psychologist Award from the USA for 2008, and the Henry David International Mentoring Award in 2017): They Love Me, They Love Me Not— And Why It Matters (a TED-talk)

Nick Child, M.D., a child psychiatrist and family
therapist in Edinburgh, Scotland, UK, campaigning to influence key people and raise the profile of parental alienation: Finding PA on a bigger map: Useful learning from wider perspectives

Steven Miller, M.D., holds degrees in psychology and medicine, for 30 years a clinical instructor at Harvard Medical School and presently he does consulting work through the Massachusetts Medical Education Group, LLC: When a child has a legitimate reason to reject a parent vs. parental alienation

Simona Vladica, Ph.D., a psychologist and authorized mediator in Bucharest, Romania, faculty member of the Universitatea Ecologica din Bucersti, head of Health Media Group: Parental Alienation – a form of severe psycho- logical child abuse; implications in the decision- making of the courts on the exercise of parental authority

Matej Zaplotnik, B.A., social pedagogy, a mental health professional who works with divorced families, director of Svetovalno izobrazevalni Center MIT (Counseling Education Center MIT): Parents rights and responsibilities, experiences of parental alienation from Slovenia

Ryan Thomas, lecturer and coach based on his own experiences to have been reunited with his father when he was an adult, founder of the Reconnect Academy, a 6 week online program: Experiences of having been alienated as a child

PANEL DAY 1: Perceptions of Parental Alienation in the Nordic Countries






8-16 Skeppsholmens folkhögskola, segelsömmarsalen

Asuncion Tejedor Huerta, Ph.D., a forensic psychologist who has studied parental alienation in Spain, Colombia, Mexico, and taught courses for the Official College of Psychologists in Spain: What a knowledgeable expert witness can do

Ursula Kodjoe, M.A., a family therapist, mediator, and family court expert in Germany, where she has been one of them who developed the ”Cochem-model”: Consensus Model in Germany with interdisciplinary cooperation: early intervention as best prevention

Demosthenes Lorandos, Ph.D., J.D., a psychologist and attorney in Ann Arbor, Michigan, a member of the bar of
the United States Supreme Court, has summarized parental alienation cases from Canada and the US: Foundation for cross examination of PA-critics

Ashish Joshi, LLM, an attorney in Ann Arbor, a member
of the bar of the United States Supreme Court, State Bars of NY, Michigan, District of Columbia and Gujarat, India: Parental Alienation: An International Perspective – From “Gardner’s Theory” to Child Abuse

Olga Odinetz, Ph.D., a research scientist in health and environment, Paris, France, founder of ACALPA, Association Contre L ́ Alienation Parentale, an organization educating parents and mental professionals: Training for French investigative police officers in family custody cases

Jennifer Harman, Ph.D., an associate professor of Social and Health Psychology at Colorado State University, co-authored the book Parents acting badly: How institutions and societies promote the alienation of children from their loving families (Now available in Swedish, can be ordered through Amazon).: Parental alienation – What is done and what ought to be done about it?

Karen and Nick Woodall, founders of the Family Separation Clinic, London,U.K., authors of Parental Alienation: Learning to cope, helping to heal and putting children first, Karen
is the founder of the European Association of Parental Alienation Practioners: Reunification work, experiences from London

Linda Gottlieb, LMFT, LCSW-R, a family therapist in Duchess County, New York, trained under Dr. Salvador Minuchin, faculty emeritus of the Minuchin Center for the Family, has developed Turning points, a reunification program: Taking a child down the memorial lane to reunite, a role-play

PANEL DAY 2: Parental Alienation what to do about it in the future?



To not allow a child to love both his/her mother and father, Without any justification,
To limit the time for contact,
To badmouth the mother or the father,

To make good memories into bad ones,
To reform the child ́s thoughts,
That is to feed hate and fear,
So that the child says: I do not want to have any contact with my mother/father.

To thus make a formerly loved parent to an alien the child rejects with no regrets is what is on the agenda for the conference – and what you can do about it. WELCOME!